Monday, October 12, 2015

Detachable Penis by King Missile

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it
But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next the morning, I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know
I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to having to sit down
Every time I take a leak
After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home, washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again, complete
People sometimes tell me
I should get it permanently attached but I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis
Detachable penis
Detachable penis
Detachable penis

IF THAT WERE ME I WOULD TOTALLY LOSE IT

3 comments:

Dan Tschirhart said...

Waz had this album, reminded me of something the Dead Milkmen would do.
You gotta admit, that would be a tough situation to be in.
At least he talked him down to $17 - kudos to his bartering skills.

Aaron Vattano said...

This song makes me sad we live in a country where we have free speech. This song should not have been allowed to be recorded

Pirate Aggro said...

DAN!!! Thank God! Finally a comment that is not like the one below it. Berv is unable to say anything beyond what is below. That and "GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAG NAB KIDS" while shaking his fist. Please. PLEASE continue to comment so that there is a little variety.