Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Do Your Balls Hang Low by Koit

Ting-a-ling, God damn, find a woman if you can.
If you can't find a woman, find a clean old man.
If you're ever in Gibraltar, take a flying fuck at Walter.
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low?

Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a Continental soldier?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do they make a lusty clamor when you hit them with a hammer?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you bounce 'em off the wall like an Indian rubber ball?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do they have a hollow sound when you drag 'em on the ground?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do they have a mellow tingle when you hit 'em with a shingle?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do they have a salty taste when you wrap 'em 'round your waist?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do they chime like a gong when you pull upon your dong?
Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low?

THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY POETIC

8 comments:

Aaron Vattano said...

Archer hangs out with my nannys grandson and he taught him this song. Now archer sings it all the time. Out loud in public.

This song is total garbage. Singing a song about balls is about as base and vile as you can get. Anyone who likes this song is a horrible person. Balls should never ever be the subject of a song. Not ever

Dan Tschirhart said...

I sang commercial jingles when I was little

But I do remember the song 'Diarrhea' was very popular

I knew quite a few verses

Now as far as songs about balls go - there's a time and place for that

Like say a variety show where Chris's parents are in attendance

Aaron Vattano said...

I have never sung a song about balls.
Never have. Never will.

Pirate Aggro said...

Well since you have erased 90% of your life from your brain you would not remember if you sang the star spangled banner while walking down main street of Iran naked with money taped to your face and waving a huge Israeli flag.

Aaron Vattano said...

Do the people from Iran dislike the people from Israel ? I can never keep track of all the hate

Pirate Aggro said...

Yes they are bitter enemies. Iran has vowed to wipe iserael from the earth. I serial has said if you try we will nuke your asses.

Pirate Aggro said...

Yes they are bitter enemies. Iran has vowed to wipe iserael from the earth. I serial has said if you try we will nuke your asses.

Aaron Vattano said...

Maybe trump will nuke them. The world would be a better place with trump as Pres